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Grammy Awards
I’m not sure why I watch the Grammys, since I’m not exactly au courant with the current music scene. But I’ve probably heard more new music this past year than I have in many years, thanks to Rhapsody, which let me listen to whole albums on spec, and XM, which plays everything. Still, I’m an old guy with old tastes. Fashioned. Old-fashioned.

The trouble is, most of the new music that I really liked was totally overlooked by the Grammys. Where was Ryan Shupe? Where was Robbie Fulks? Where, for that matter, were Franz Ferdinand and Death Cab for Cutie (both beaten by the White Stripes) and My Morning Jacket (not even nominated)? Huh? Am I the only person who thought Devendra Banhart should win something? (I am? Really?)

At least Fiona Apple was nominated. I mean, Extraordinary Machine is a phenomenal album, but it seems Kelly Clarkson was going to win everything tonight (including beating Mariah and Madonna for pop vocal performance, while her successors were battling it out for her crown on another channel).

By the way, Mariah looked and sounded good, for a performer who two years ago was a washed-up has-been. She got to perform on the show, but the awards she won were presented “earlier this evening,” and off camera.

I love Alison Krauss, too, but not as much as the Grammy voters, who give her an award every year. She won at least three more tonight (that I know of), and her album beat Gretchen and Faith and Brad and Trisha.

Compared to previous Grammy shows, this year’s event was way short on memorable moments. When Dave Chapelle appeared out of nowhere to introduce the tribute to Sly and the Family Stone, I thought we had our moment, but I’m sorry. Maroon 5 and Ciara doing “Everyday People” was pretty pale. Will.i.am did a better job with “Dance to the Music,” although I don’t remember the rap chorus in the original. The salvation of the set was the appearance of Sly himself. He’s been gone longer than Chapelle, way longer.

Some moments were supposed to be special but did nothing for me. To name two: Kanye West and Jamie Foxx and that mess they put on stage, and Christina Aguilera warbling “A Song For You” accompanied by Herbie Hancock on the piano (a performance that makes me shudder when I think about it).

My favorite award? A real song, “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” by Green Day, won Record of the Year. It had to be an underdog, since it has both melody and lyrics, and it has attitude without anybody having to shout at the audience to be heard. I’d like to thank the Academy.

And my favorite moment (at last)? The finale, a tribute to New Orleans music, and especially “In the Midnight Hour,” sung by legends like Sam Moore, Bruce Springsteen and Irma Thomas. It was worth waiting up into the middle of the night for.

There are 108 Grammy categories (I checked), so anyone who didn’t win an award must feel like a real loser. (This does not apply to Sir Paul, who will turn the magical age of 64 soon and rocked it like a Quarryman tonight on “Helter Skelter,” but didn’t win anything.)

Did you notice I didn’t mention Teri Hatcher’s dress? And I’m not going to.

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