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Like Kathy Griffin and Pauly Shore
Big Brother 9 doesn’t have much going for it in the way of likable personalities, or anyone worth rooting for. This is the lamest bunch of houseguests ever, and I’ve watched every season from year one, but they do have as much drama this early in the season as any other year, thanks to the couples twist. I hate it, but I have to admit it’s the only thing keeping me watching these bozos at this point.

And the biggest twist going, now that the Exes, Jacob and Sharon, have been bounced, is the preexisting relationship between Jen and Ryan, and the fact that what should have been kept a secret has been revealed so early. Actually, all would have been well if Allison hadn’t freaked out as soon as she found out that her partner Ryan was Jen’s boyfriend, and that Jen’s partner Parker already knew about it. Parker took it pretty well, but Allison made so much of it that nobody believed she would be able to keep it a secret. So Parker made the decision for the four of them that they would let the word out.

It’s just too bad nobody told Allison about the big reveal. At this point my sympathies shifted from the other three to her, even though I don’t have much use for any of them. It was obvious from the first, when Parker told Matt and Alex, that this wasn’t going to go down very well with the rest of the house. Not only did it make huge targets of both couples (who ended up being nominated for eviction), but it also amped up the level of paranoia way beyond anything that seems reasonable.

Joshuah brought up the question of secrets to the HOH couple, Alex and Amanda, who called a house meeting where everyone swore on the Bible that they didn’t know any of their housemates previously, but no one believed anyone else. Then Natalie and Sheila decided to pretend to be a lesbian couple with an adopted daughter, which might be humorous but isn’t likely to do anything for them in the long run except make them the next targets.

When you think about it, though, who isn’t a target? Maybe Chelsia and James, because they’re low key and non-confrontational. Joshuah and Neil, because everyone gets along with them, but (minor spoiler alert) I happen to know something that puts them off the radar. (Which probably everyone else knows by now, since it’s all over the internet.) And just being a non-target makes you a target, if people think you’re likely to get more jury votes than they are. It’s way too early for that kind of thinking, of course, but with the paranoia starting already, it doesn’t seem to be too early for anything. Is it too early to kick out all these nut cases and bring in sixteen new houseguests?

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